Apparently I am not very good at maintaining this blog while abroad... so much happens in the day that when I finally settle down on my computer, it's 10pm and homework time and then late night for Lisa. My apologies for not writing more often. I assure you there are tons of photos on facebook, which you should feel free to check out. :) And here is a copy of the reflection essay I just cranked out to satisfy my core requirement for studying abroad through SMCM. FYI I wrote the first half carefully and then as I was running out of time before the due date toward the end I started rushing. There's a lot more detail I wanted to include, but I am too busy to write more right now. Perhaps I'll fine tune it later?
ELAW essay
When I was arrived in Thailand four months ago, I was ecstatic to finally realize my dream of studying abroad here. I had wanted to study through the St. Mary’s Signature Semester at Payap University since the end of my freshman year at St. Mary’s in Spring 2009 after I fell in love with Thai language and culture in my Introduction to Thai Language class. I was prevented from studying abroad that fall by my parents, who thought I was still too young to live abroad on my own. In retrospect, I think they were correct. I was still adjusting to living away from home in college, and I had never left the country before, let alone lived abroad for several months.
The following spring of my sophomore year I applied and was accepted to the same program, but at the last minute over the summer the program was cancelled because of riots between red and yellow shirt political activists in Bangkok and Chiang Mai and the ensuing backlash against protesters, some of whom were students at the very university where I wanted to study. I understood Professor Ho Nguyen’s fears for our safety, but the decision was disappointing nonetheless. As St. Mary’s does not have a Southeast Asian studies program, nor did we offer any classes about Southeast Asia at the time, I spent my junior year studying East Asia, namely Japanese history and Mandarin Chinese, the latter to satisfy my Asian Studies language credit in case there was a repeat situation from last year and I could not go to Thailand. Finally, after two years of waiting, in the fall of my senior year I arrived here in Thailand, prepared for four months of life-changing adventure. Little did I know how much I would learn and grow here, and in ways that I never could have anticipated.
My goals upon arrival in Thailand were straightforward: I wanted to see, learn, and do as much as possible as a student in this new, exciting country with Thai friends who would teach me Thai. I knew that with only four months abroad I did not have enough time to become fluent in Thai, but somehow I still had a vague idea that I could gain enough experience to use my new Thai skills to get a job translating somewhere. I have since realized that I will have to study Thai for years if I want to become a Thai-English translator.
My last Thai class had been two years ago and I had barely practiced the language since then, aside from my muddling attempts to order in Thai at Thai restaurants. But despite my terrible pronunciation, the waitresses I talked to were very friendly and encouraging. I attended weekly Thai lessons at the Thai Buddhist temple near my house, which I enjoyed but did not find particularly helpful in terms of learning Thai language. On my own I read The King Never Smiles by Paul Hendley, a fascinating biography of the current King Rama IX of Thailand and detailed account of the modern political history of Thailand. I read every source that Payap University and the St. Mary’s International Education recommended to prepare me for culture shock. I packed extra copies of the conservative Payap school uniform as well as plenty of gifts from the US for my roommate and host family. I even packed separate washcloths for my head and feet when I learned about the Thai belief in the hierarchy of the body, according to which the head is most sacred and the feet are most unclean, both physically and spiritually. I knew that I wanted to spend most of my time abroad with Thais, so I tried to practice Thai and learn about cultural dos and don’ts so that I could fit right in. The most helpful tip that I picked up while preparing for my study abroad was to expect to make mistakes, and learn to laugh at myself. This open mindset quickly and frequently came in handy.
I soon realized that even the most simple activities, such as eating dinner, can prove challenging in a foreign country. I had little experience with chopsticks, so actually mastering this basic tool for noodles required some time and patience on my part, and willingness to laugh at the “artwork” that began appearing on some of my shirts. Even with a simple spoon and fork, I had to learn that mixing all the food together after you have begun eating is rude. Even when I knew specific rules, such as the custom of not touching anyone’s head if they are the same age as you or older, there were a couple times when I become so comfortable with one Thai friend that I forgot for a minute and broke this rule. Whenever I made such a social faux pas, I tried to laugh at myself. To my surprise, I found that it was easier for me to do this here where my friends would laugh too than in the US where the other person usually brushed off the offending comment brusquely or ignored my indiscretion entirely. I found myself adapting to Thai culture easily in some ways, but like every foreigner I experienced my share of culture shock.
Perhaps one of the hardest culture shocks that I experienced is the difference in reaction to anything physically embarrassing or awkward between Thais and Americans. Back home, many people would think you rude if you made any comment about their appearance that was anything short of complementary. But my experience with Thais has been that if you have pimples on your face, your friends will tell you. This took me a long time to get accustomed to. My Thai friends are very open about making fun of their own weight – my best Thai friend here calls his stomach “one pack”, a joke about having a little stomach fat instead of a “six pack” with washboard abs. He is simply commenting on something visually obvious and factual, and often through joking he tries to make himself and others feel better about weighty situations (HEEHEE)
Despite this light-hearted attitude toward physical appearance, most Thais who I have talked to here believe that an attractive physical appearance is essential for good social relations, especially with regard to respecting elders and people of high stature, like professors, by looking clean and well-dressed. I typically dress casually at St. Mary’s, but here I have tried to be respectful as a guest in another country and hold myself to the same standards by wearing long skirts and long-sleeve blouses to class and when visiting temples. I thought I looked good, so I was a bit taken aback when a male Thai friend asked me point-blank why I do not wear makeup. According to him, I would look much prettier if I did. I thought for a while and responded that I do not like to wear it because I like the way I look naturally. Instead of getting angry, I calmly explained my perspective, which itself is not strictly American but stems from a value that my parents raised me to have, which is that people are beautiful naturally without needing perfume or makeup. And I simultaneously learned to appreciate my friend’s perspective while also gaining more appreciation for the way in which my parents raised me.
Living and studying at St. Mary’s, especially my experiences with foreign exchange students from China and Japan, has increased my sensitivity to cultural differences. I tried to learn as much as I could about Thai culture and language before I came to Thailand not only to lessen culture shock upon my arrival, but also because I think this is the most respectful way to live and study abroad. I was flabbergasted when I learned that I was one of only two newly arrived Thai studies classmates who had any prior knowledge of Thai language.
I purposely tried to spend as much time with Thais as I possibly could. I realize that I had an advantage, having learned some Thai previously, in picking up the language and making Thai friends. I speak a combination of Thai and English – Thinglish – with my Thai friends, but it’s predominantly English-based. In other words, my Thai skills help me to make friends but it has been more important to make the effort to reach out by trying the language and being friendly. It even helps to make a fool of yourself to put your Thai friends at ease and encourage them to practice their English with you. I have one Thai friend who knows almost zero English, and we enjoy trying to learn from each other, but it requires patience that not everyone possesses, and we have a lot of trouble communicating beyond simple logistical sentences. I am far from native in Thai, but I came to Thailand determined to make Thai friends and I have been so blessed to meet many amazing people, from Thailand as well as China, Gambia, Cambodia, Burma, Japan, Mexico, and many other countries as well.
My closest friend group at Payap is almost a model UN, including friends from Gambia, Japan, Cambodia, Thailand, and of course the US. While I have made a point of not hanging out exclusively with Americans during my time at Payap, as that defeats the purpose of studying abroad, I made friends based on compatible personalities and values, not countries of origin. This means I do have American friends here as well. I love my friends because of who they are, not where they come from, and I simply have more in common with them than I do with many students from the US. I have learned an enormous amount from my friends here about social work and humanitarian aid. My friend Oumie from Gambia runs the student government back home and works for many NGOS, one of which takes care of the elderly. Another friend, Hitomi, from Japan works with a student organization that helps to educate underprivileged students in India. From hearing about their experiences, I find myself drawn to pursue my passion in a way that helps people in my community who need it. Learning about slum dwellers and sex workers in Bangkok has fed this desire to help people who need my assistance, whether I find them at home or abroad. I plan to volunteer at Wat Thai DC near my house this summer to work on my Thai, and from there I do not know where I will go but I know that I want to give my compassion, knowledge, and strength to those who need a helping hand.
